Tweet:Non-sequitur

I'm not even sure what to make of it but didn't want to pass it up. Can you caption or explain it for me?

Tweet:Well, well, well..

I'm not sure if they got the order right.

Tweet: Carey a Tune!

Same goes for giving up the solo, male, vocal renditions of Mariah. #Hint she wasn't singing about you. And while we're at it, why is What Is Love played without irony?

Tweet: Chill with the Willies

Eastern Europe please cease the terrible RHCP covers - just leave Dani on the other side under the bridge in California.

Profile: Liliya

Meet Liliya

- Twenty six year old from Velico Tarnovo, a picturesque former capital of Bulgaria
- Life guard, while off duty once saved a lady who was only one step away from standing on her own
- Guitar player and singer
- University educated
- Touchy feely but apologetic about it
- Former waitress of 15 hour days for 150 Euros/month
- Current exotic dancer in Italy, by reluctant choice but only to make real money
- Self-proclaimed excellent pole dancer
- Wowed audience by singing Whitney's I Will Always Love You while hanging upside down
- Stunned them to silence with (her favourite) Bryan Adam's (Everything I Do) I Do it for You
- Wishes to return to Bulgaria permanently but needs to make a decent living (a common issue with the youth in Bulgaria)
- I honestly cannot personally vouch for any of this as she informed me of all of it while seated on a live music bar stool (fully clothed)

[Photo omitted]

Profile: Bulgaria

Meet Bulgaria

- Never part of USSR, member of EU for 6 years
- Primarily Cyrillic lettering but many important things, such as road signs also translated to English
- Seems sort of like Romania's older brother

Sidewalk Safety: Tiled or interlocked there are plenty of opportunities to catch a toe

Stray Dog Rating (out of 5): 1 dog, 4.5 cats (adjusted to leave room at the top)

Cuisine: The fries in the falafel wrap, a European thing?, seem like a good idea but I'm still on the fence. Things are quite oily and if not meat then potato based - case and point the dinner plate sized potato pancake. Zagorka Dark is tasty (how did I find you with only my very last beer?) while the lager quenches thirst well enough.

Rambling Impressions: Admittedly I groaned upon passing the border and seeing Cyrillic again but it proved less of a problem with most people speaking English wrote well and offering things such as translated menus. The natural and historical sights were interesting and plentiful making sight seeing a joy. Buses were in much better shape than anywhere this far, even offering free WiFi on intercity hauls, but you pay a (worthwhile) premium. People for the most part leave you to your own devices but are mostly pleasant especially when they realise you are a foreigner.

Tweet: Guest Book Confession

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

[I stole a pen - good pens!]

Tweet: GPS

Dilbert had suspected for some time that they might be climbing the wrong mountain

Piste!

What a truly gorgeous day for snowboarding! I haven't seen a cloud all day unless you're counting the slight fog I watched lift from the valley early this morning from the 2550m peak. Last week's snow really set a good base too, so although conditions are getting a little slushy in the sun I think it's a worthwhile tradeoff. Only thing is the snow is getting sticky so I've got to keep my speed up to get to this next lift but this shady, coniferous tree lined path seems immune thus far. Alright, tuck.. inside line.. around this corner.. Wait, what's that in the shade? It looks dirty. Oh no, it is dirt - ah, little late for avoidance so I'll just blast through it. Nope - it's stones, glad this isn't my board. Damn, it's pure rocks. I'm on it now - not much I can do but follow my momentum which is already 3 m downhill. And.. my board has literally ground to a stop so I'm flying those few metres face first. Ow! That's my upper three layers riding up and lower four layers sliding down and I'm still skidding.

"£@¢€!" I'm surprised that exclamation of frustration didn't trigger an avalanche.

Ugh, there's mud everywhere - pants, face, jacket, other jacket, drawers, back, glasses, mitts, toque - everywhere! I'm going to be picking gravel out of my hip for hours.

How do these skiers know to go around it? And how are they resisting the urge to laugh at the obvious wreck that I am?

Tweet: Killing more than time

Over 80 people at this bus stop and there isn't one who hasn't had a smoke. Man. Woman. Child (group of "cool" 11 yr olds)

Tweet: Federenterprise

World Wrestling muted in a Bulgarian restaurant is.. still as bad as any other situation you put it in

Gimme a Lift!

Without confidence I cross back over to the other side of the road for the third time just hoping that the bus I needed would come along sometime, and would actually stop at this unmarked juncture. Another minute passes and a jalopy rolls up and down goes the window "I know where you're going - Hostel Mostel! It is right near my house, come on." Normally I'm wary of any offer, especially ones that try to guess my destination or call me "Canada" due to the flag on my pack, but this guy seems friendly and has a car full of people, plus I don't have much faith this bus will ever arrive (he concurs it won't be by for an hour). Heaving my sack in the trunk we putter off and up the hill with a tinny handheld radio blaring an upbeat Bulgarian tune. As we ramble along a high road the city can be seen across the valley so the driver points out a few sights - the fort, the university with its 5000 students and the former sugar factory. Meanwhile the birthday boy in the back seat with me restarts the same song on manual repeat and the rear of the car bottoms out in time. At the hostel door, as promised, he pulls in and retrieves my bag. I tuck him a 5 Lev bill as the negotiated "small gift" he had asked for and wave them off into the night.
As I check in I mention my interesting lift and the clerk disdainfully groans "the twins" and something else under his breath.
"Pardon?"
"We call them the assholes.."
Scammed!

To tally it up the taxi ride would have been 2 and change (all prices Bulgarian Lev) which I would have tipped to 4 with my two $2 bills. So in the end I overpaid by $1 (granted to a known scam artist) and you, my faithful followers, had something to read on your coffee break. I'm accepting donations.