Profile:Croatia

Meet Croatia

- Coastline country mirroring Italy to the east

- Severed ties with Yugoslavia beginning 1990 leading to the "Homeland War" '91-'95

- Speak Croatian (nearly identical to Albanian, Montenegrin, Serbian, Bosnian)

Stray Dog Rating (out of 5): Oh sure, by day it's not too bad but come dusk the mongrel cats come out from the protected architecture sites to clean up, at least in Dubrovnik(3.5). Otherwise it wasn't so bad (1). Didn't see a dog that was stray (0).

Cuisine: To borrow a phrase from southeast Asia - same, same, but different. Every restaurant has an identical menu of fish and meat, leaving me with grilled vegetables and inferior attempts at Italian dishes like risotto (just regular rice) and particularly mediocre pizza. With the bears whoever felt like cooking prepared from the cellar full of vegetables, potatoes, pasta and rice with plenty of garlic. When nobody wanted to cook bread ripped from the loaf with local honey had to suffice.

Sidewalk Safety: In the village these obviously did not exist but you were most likely to see few vehicles out tractors, if you did though the roads were narrow that only one car could really pass at a time. The old cities had limestone smoothed to a marble shine from thousands of years of treading and restricted vehicles which was nice (watch out for the delivery vehicles in Split though.)

Rambling Impressions: It seems necessary to break this into Bear and Non-Bear impressions for these were entirely different. With the bears there was a great sense of community in the small, somewhat remote village of a few hundred. One shop, one bar, one restaurant allowed people to live simple lives, primarily based on agriculture and forestry. I really enjoyed the friendliness and helpfulness that this brought, even as a volunteer who was quickly immersed into this even through a translator.

Non-Bear had its pluses too. Driving through the mountains, littered with lengthy highway tunnels, is gorgeous as the pines mix with the deciduous trees on their side. Once you cross you've got vibrant blue sea overlooked by the range. Here are resplendent walled cities of Zadar, Split and Dubrovnik in order of increasing beauty. Dubrovnik is utterly gorgeous and worthy of its barrage of visitors.

Guardian: The Lady Split

Scene: Evening. Brother and sister stand in narrow street looking up at apartment building with consternation. Lady appears from around corner.

Lady: Have you rang the bell?
Brother: Ye-
L interrupting: They didn't answer?
Sister: N-
L interrupting: Do you want me to call them? Where's the number? There it is in the window.
L into phone: Dobro dan.. (continues in Croatian)
L to siblings: He'll be here to let you in in fifteen minutes. Maybe get yourselves a drink

Lady turns back the way she came and vanishes (maybe around the corner)

WITWISA? Birthday Beach

A second photo so you won't be annoyed when the revealed answer feels like it was a trick question

WITWISA? How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Actually how I spent my birthday too!

Tweet: BBQ Problem Solved

This May 2-4 the answer to "you want a veggie dog or burger?" now has a simple answer.

Tweet: Dorbrodosli!

@sisterkate has arrived! And we almost immediately went hiking to stunning waterfalls. Welcome to Croatia

Bear with Me: Tails End

Nobody seemed like they were getting up today after last night's hijinks, plus it being a Sunday. I had planned to take the 7am bus until I'd found out a couple days before that no such bus ran and I'd be forced to hitchhike. First though, half an hour after everyone is supposed to be up we were awoken to find a full size cube van heaped full of an assortment of bread and baked goods on top of hard kernel corn. It took six of us six hours to unload it all by hand and I still had my hangover but not a ride. Finally a visiting Dutch couple to the refuge agreed to take me so I was knighted with my volunteer bear necklace and instructed to retain the Kuterevo Spirit for all my life. Goodbyes and hugs were exchanged all around and off we went. As it turns out my guesthouse was literally across the street from theirs and Katherine hollered to me from our balcony as I retrieved my bag from their trunk and wished them safe travels.

BwM: Hoes and Hoedowns

Thankfully after the long night at the restaurant and beyond my morning task was sitting in the shade assembling necklaces. Why then did I volunteer for the position of helping the neighbour with her potatoes (all the information I knew)? Because the neighbour was also the pizza shop and we were down to some potatoes and skanky peppers in our cellar. Hence why I found myself riding in a tractor drinking rakija in the sun before 10am - what hangover? Turns out 'her potatoes' was planting them by hand. Not to take my own field but I'm a natural with a hoe and we completed the whole field in two hours instead of the anticipated four, plus half an hour to drink pivo, eat bread and cheese and homemade cake in the shade. In compensation we enjoyed another beer on the patio and lazily waited for our pizza which eventually arrived. Our pick up, Renault 4, was otherwise engaged thus the afternoon slipped by as I napped in the deck chair. Kuterevo Refuge founder eventually came to slurp a coffee, shoot a rakija and drain a water (in that order, all with his eyes closed) and we were driven back to hear about the witch who had visited during the day as the rowdy priests and nuns cleansed the place (out at least gawked at the bears). I did some of my own gawking and captured some brilliant images of tussling big bears. At 7:55pm Lukas asked for 30 kuna and we ran with a wheelbarrow full of empties to the one and only shop in the village, stocking up before they closed for the night at 8. Marco, the newly nut free two year old, showed that he was recovered as he ran excitedly around his enclosure, batting his new tire swing around, while I collected wood for my totem. This would be painted sometime after moving to American House lounge and finishing the case (but never the unending supply of rakija) as the night descended into a full on goodbye party for me.

BwM: Take Me Out!

It was a forgettable day of sunshine without joy as we just sweat doing menial tasks all day without any swimming option nearby. As the evening set in I watched the pair of bears eat what I tossed them but it was hardly a highlight. I did however have dinner to look forward to as we had decided at lunch to go to the only restaurant in town when we considered what we could make with the 3 yellow peppers and garlic available to us. We had phoned ahead and there was a surprise set menu - "normal" or vegetarian. Upon arrival we were given rakija, naturally. Next was nice toast and cheese but we were so polite in not being able to split 4 six ways that they took half of a piece away before we could protest. The bread was oily like a croissant and went well with the soup that was closely followed by salad. They hadn't yet offered drinks so we asked for both red and white wine but some were shocked when their first sip of white burned like the rakija it was. As we mowed down our family style main of risotto and cheese they replaced the mistaken clear beverage but not before we tucked a little in our assortment of glasses. The owner finally returned and greeted us with what else than a round of rakija - "gvili!" He joined us for awhile and even took our picture, first from the end of the table and then from the rafters of the outdoor barn we were eating in, seated leaned against hay on wool blankets. Totally stuffed they brought yet another litre of red and some fried dough smothered in jam as desert. With all the booze in front of us we had time to pass and did so by somehow picking on the only other native English speaker in the varied group for her British accent. ("Polah baa", "it's not faih") Eventually after all the other tables left we polished ours off, even most of the plain fried dough they'd brought as a bonus. Still chuckling we went inside to pay where the owner broke out another two shots of rakija plus a plate of delicious cheese despite my bursting belly. All told, with much on the house, we paid under $20 each and walked home entirely by moonlight to play cards ("pesinas") well into the morning.

BwM: Cut Only Corners

Today was odd in that we didn't slice any animals open. We began with a presentation about bears from Hubert, one of the world's authorities on the creatures. Following I found myself rather free to marvel at Marco's resilience to run around the day after losing his manhood. The cutest couple in the place put on a show of play fighting in the grass for me. Postaja was overtaken by important visitors so we ate outside and after a short sunbench nap I was summoned to work by the big bears. Splashing had me shirk my labour to watch as first two bears bathed till one left the other to backstroke and blow bubbles - if this was a photo blog you'd be overwhelmed with adorable. They appreciated when I later brought them buckets and buckets of dandelions even if they were already noisily munching corn off the cob like the civilised bears that they are. Dinner was a beer until the VIP returned alongside the founder (and chapeau wearing star of BwM:Arrival) whom we toasted with some of the fresh rakija I made on my first day. Even after he left it continued despite definite vows from everyone this morning that they would be getting an early night's rest.

BwM: Eunuch (UPDATED)

While I put the chicks outside (you've seen them) over 40 people were arriving to the refuge. Then as I chased the supposedly injured but surprisingly spry escaped cat down the lane everyone hushed me. I realised why as I watched Marko, the youngest bear on site at 2 y/o, spin in circles and try to reach the sedative dart sticking out of his neck. Eventually he settled but this was disconcertingly in his water pool, thankfully without his head under and a crew rushed in to transport him out in a rope net. I could only stand to watch the vet perform a hasty Brazilian shave before I was thankfully called away. Inside his vacated den we cleaned up, hiding nuts for his return without them. At one point I found myself atop his jungle gym replacing a worn out toy with a fresh tire swing.

I was fifteen minutes in the enclosure before my heart palpitations as I suddenly remembered somebody telling me the gate connected to the two bears in the next enclosure was unlocked and could simply be pushed over by them, allowing instant entry to where I was standing. Peaking down the tunnel it looked closed on the far end and this was confirmed by my fellow volunteer who said he had checked twice and laughed at my tardiness.

Soon he was returned to lay groggily for hours in the grass while I assisted in lunch preparations. Following was some quiet time as Marko continued to sleep it off. I had a task by the big bears and a couple of them came over to where I'd sat to watch them tussle. The biggest stuffed himself in a hole barely large enough for me and scratched on the post a meter away.
Still with unspecified afternoon volunteer tasks I offered to fix the broken bike and when that was compete tuned up the rest of the fleet. To make sure I'd done an adequate job I cruised to the next village with some incredible landscapes to race through while being pursued by no less than a dozen dogs. Back at base I sat by the fence and Mladi approached me curiously for a game of peak-a-bear while his main squeeze (bear hugs, mostly) rolled in the grass in the distance. When she decided to join us they too tussled some before crashing into the evening darkened bushes. Dinner was late meaning we'd already dipped into the pivo and afterward it once again descended into raki, at least accompanied by world politics.

Tweet: (BwM) Aw, nuts.Aw, shucks.

I'm embarrassed to admit that yesterday I cracked my first ever (as well as thirtieth) walnut by hand. #FirstTimeForEverything

BwM: Autopsy

The morning was simple enough - moving heavy things in wheelbarrows and weeding. However after our lovely picnic lunch the day picked up. Forty experts visited our refuge to perform the autopsy and dissection of first three wolves and then three sheep suspected to have been killed by wolves. I documented the whole thing with my camera, only pausing to snap shots of the agitated bears nearby harassing each other and climbing trees. When everyone left we loaded up the carcasses and met near the grave I had dug where we buried the wolves and then lit a massive bonfire for the sheep. When the pivo ran out we made our way back down the forest path in the dark for a much delayed dinner which stretched into wine/sparkling water and rakia (hence the late hour and brevity of this post despite the interesting content of the day). You're lucky my photos are not available to upload.

Bear with Me: Arrival

Exiting the bus a chapeaued older gentleman approached and inquired "Stephan?" so I shook his hand and followed him to his vehicle - an old, red Renault 4 with 194,000 km. He opened the door for me but I was confused and thought it was right-side drive and tried to get in the driver's seat. Once a passenger, I asked how he was and he quietly said "so so" and then explained that he didn't speak much English, essentially putting an end to any conversation. This allowed me to focus on the car's smoked meat smell and the road's growing puddles, as the pencil sized wipers fought a losing battle. In the dark the headlights beamed an askew angle as we raced the thin winding mountain roads, often falling onto either shoulder - and not only when we met oncoming vehicles. Breaking the silence of the squeaking steering wheel he finally said "Kuterevo" as we entered the village and soon pulled up to the volunteer postaja. Inside I met a flurry of people and a flock of birds (see duckling), was handed a beer, attempted to go to the closed bar, returned to discuss the world over the remainder of a case of beer, and then had to excuse myself at 2am (see Eric/Per).

Bear With Me: Graves, Recycled Shit, Ice Cream

My bold claim "I'd rather dig wolf graves" became a lesson in "be careful what you wish for." The terribly rocky ground was offset only by interesting company and the beautiful mountaintop forest surroundings, despite being in a bear cemetery. Following a large vegetable tofu casserole lunch we were off on bikes to refill the sawdust supplies for the compost toilets. Our return brought the toughest assignment of the day, moving hundred kilo planks. On the bright side we were moving them around the outside of the young bear enclosures, so frequent rests allowed us to watch the bears munch playfully on tires and jump into the pool for a cooling dunk. There was also an ice cream break, for the bears at least, where I got to toss a block of walnut and fruit filled ice into the youngest's enclosure so he could cautiously eat it while keeping an eye on me. We bought a case of beer (20X0.5l) for 119.80 kuna ($24 CAD) before chasing an old man in slippers around the bush, driving wooden stakes into the ground where he divined from a photograph. After sunset I returned to the big bears to toss logs with snacks hidden inside them into the area and then went to the volunteer house to snack myself. After cracking into that case I had potentially the best part of my day - first shower (hot even) in three days.

Bear With Me

My first morning at Kuterevo Bear Refuge in Croatia began by brushing my teeth as I watched two young cubs greet each other 'dobra dan!' with a hearty sniff. Following this I distilled raki from apple, pear and plum pulp with copious quality inspections at all stages. The afternoon saw me collecting wheelbarrows of wildflowers which I then fed to the five appreciative 'big bears' who clamoured over each other with pleasure. Following dinner and an information session with my fellow hippies volunteers we hit the 'bear bar' (actually) for a bear beer (nobody said that). What will tomorrow have in store?

Guardians: Eric and Per, Bosnia/Croatia/Norway

Rafting on the Una River in northwestern Bosnia I met these two fun-loving Norwegians. Within minutes they had invited me to join their party. You see this weekend getaway was a surprise for Per's birthday. He was instructed to drive to Eric's house with his car gassed up, waterproof gear but no need for a passport. Upon arrival he was told to park in the garage and get in Eric's car - curve ball. They drove towards a nearby party city when at the last minute Eric, who drives anything fast, cut across four highway lanes into the airport producing astonished Per's passport he'd procured through his girlfriend. They flew to Croatia where they'd be partying but first the next morning they were paddling down a river with me. I'd been wondering how I was going to cross the minor border to reach my bear sanctuary destination the next day so when they offered a ride in their rental I jumped out of the raft at the chance. The two, who sell and service top-end sports cars in Oslo (at thrice American prices due to taxes), were superbly gracious and overwhelmingly generous. At the end of the few hour drive we stocked up on party supplies which we brought back to their pimping rented apartment. When the rain of the day exhausted itself Eric made it rain champagne with a pop! into the rose garden and the party began. Though I'd planned to go find a place to stay there was no opportunity, and frankly no reason, to leave as they introduced me to the Tomorrowland After-Video and American boat races while I played some Canadian music in a cross cultural exchange. (Early Nickelback was a surprise hit.) Carling beer, yes I believe the same terrible Canadian export, and "jet fuel" aka vodka replaced dinner and the after burners kicked in when the bars of Zadar closed up and gave way to night clubs at 2am. Dehydrated on a leather couch is where I found myself this rainy morning.

PS Beautiful people who wish to join me in Belgium for Tomorrowland 2015 can comment below

Tweet: Grocery Gateway Goods

.. and BEER!

Tweet: Grocery Gateway Gross

all kinds of bacon..

Tweet: Grocery Gateway Globules

Welcome to the Fun Zoo. Croatia has your bases covered! Choco globules.. Goody!