Accompanied

Since Larissa has been here we've been stuck in large, polluted, smelly cities. It is unfortunate because this masks the wonderful parts of India and they are more difficult for her to see through the smog. I hope that during the week she will at least catch a glimpse of what I've been able to experience over the past four weeks.

Delhi gave us a look at the history of the country by a morning at the national museum, as well as a trip to the house where Gandhi spent his final 144 days until he was assassinated on those very grounds. It now serves as a memorial for him, including his final golden footprints and a shrine where he died.
Old Delhi was a hubbub that almost got to Larissa on the second day but luckily we made it to the 25,000 person capacity mosque and were able to take it in, including a somewhat hazy but otherwise enjoyable view from atop the 40m tall tower.

Train from Delhi to Agra was her first legitimate train experience - in any country - and unfortunately was a trying one as it was delayed for an hour and the food I hopped off to grab at a station was deep fried, cold and thoroughly disappointing. In Agra we took a bell-ringer tour trying to see the 'Baby Taj' and then the real Taj before sunset. Both were accomplished.. as we watched the sun set from across the Yamuna River (second holiest in India) while viewing the Taj. It was splendid but still somewhat abstract or removed, picture-like, since we have yet to touch it. Tomorrow!



With the Taj closed on Friday's we boarded a city bus (jump-started via pushing!) along with a hundred other people to rumble and rock and smoke all the way to Fatehpur Sikri - the short lived capital of India in the 16th Century for only 14 years. It was nice to see the old palaces (3, one for each of the emperor's wives) and the gardens and the grounds.

It has been great to have family here, quells the homesick feelings that would rise from time to time and gives me someone to share India with. Looking forward to the rest of this country and then onto Thailand and beyond.

Magic Masala

It was a large auditorium (seating for 500) with a small crowd (50 seated). The opening act was pretty thinly veiled prop magic with the a pulsing jungle beat song acting as the background, and the interlude and every free spot of music filler there was (including the oh-so-awful crank up and down of the volume between words of the wannabe-dj ). As an interlude the "eye-candy" (being the Indian girl in capri jeans and a shirt) came out and danced to a nearly as bad song. This was followed by an awkward pause that was eventually filled in as this girl returned to the stage, now joined by the skinny Indian guy with the gap tooth, silver shirt and gold flashy vest! Together they began a duet, but it looked as if they hadn't ever really rehearsed it. As the song went on (and on and on) the coordination just got worse and they were definitely ad-libbing, and poorly.

The next act saw them attempt to call people up on stage. Nobody wanted to go and finally they persuaded a boy of 5 and a boy of perhaps 8 to be their puppets. This resulted in the most awful act during which they "milked" the silver & gold man's nipples to fill a glass and then poured it down the 8 year old's mouth. This was repeated using the younger boys fly of his pants (which they also unzipped) and after again forcing it down the 8 year old's throat he spit it back up onto the stage floor. For the rest of the night there was nary a hand when they asked for volunteers - at least I think that's what they were asking for (it was entirely in Hindi and I had my earplugs in to combat the overly loud music).

Intermission was far too long for my grumbling hungry tummy, and when it seemed like they NEEDED to put something back on nearly a half hour later guess what we got... The music came up, this time a new song, but the dynamic duo of 'eye candy' and 'silver & gold' performed the exact same routine!

Desperate for people the actual magician who finally showed his face (and giant pants and leather boots and headdress and makeup) in the second half pulled me up on stage against my will. Rolling with it I climbed into the potato sack for a bit while the muffled Hindi sounds around me gave no indication as to what was to happen next. Thankfully I was let out and then tied the sack with the magician inside. Standing off to the side I watched as they lowered a cloak in front of the sack and then it scooted under the curtain and was replaced by a new one (which the audience couldn't see). My suspicions of the switch were then proved correct when they asked me to untie the sack and I saw that it wasn't the type of knots I'd tied. For my trouble the slapped a handcuff on my arm roughly, so I was attached to the magician. When I reached for the lever I guessed was the hidden release they slapped my hand away. I was relieved to clamour back down to my seat.

Praying for the finale it came with little showmanship. In fact for the "saw the magician in half trick" they didn't even bother to saw him, they just put him in a box and then split it so that the super-fake dummy legs moved mechanically and the magician's waved, while doubled over in his half of the box.

I burst from the nearly 3 hour performance pretty disappointed despite paying less than $2 Cdn and being upgraded to "VIP" for free. Not only that but it was nearly midnight and all the street vendors had gone home so I was left to scrounge up a midnight snack for my aching belly.

Arrived!

Larissa, my lovely sister, arrived yesterday to Delhi Airport after a trying 36 hour journey through 5 countries! Through the glass window of the airport arrival hall we had a tired but joyous moment until she came out to meet me in person. Her adapting to India has come along quite far in only 24 hours - even with the extra annoyance of jet lag. She loves rickshaw rides (or at least prefers them to jam-packed subways) and has already developed a taste for Indian food and curries that as of yesterday she claimed not to have. "Give me Paneer Naan and I'll be happy" she remarked at our rooftop dinner just hours ago.

We are desperately attempting to book trains (oh trains in India...) I suppose it is my own fault for leaving it until 10 hours until expected departure. Despite this strain we are determined to see Agra (especially the Taj Mahal of course) and Amritsar (including the Golden Palace). Hopefully we can fit in the ghost city of Fatehpur Sikri in there too. A quick 8 days in India, only long enough for her to get used to all the honking, and she'll be back on a plane heading to the (hopefully) relaxing beaches of Pattaya, Thailand.

Letter from the Indian Sub-continent

Dear Larissa,

My littlest sister. I hope that this letter finds you well and in the final stages of your preparations for the long journey. In a few short days you will join me on this strange yet spectacular subcontinent and that thought brings me great pleasure. Whenever I find myself longing for home I bring that to the fore and it calms me. To have you at my side while exploring this land of hidden gems will be a blessing for me, the weary traveler, to have someone to share these with. Not only that but in times of difficulty, prolonged waiting, or discomfort to have a companion in which to turn and complain can serve to relieve the ills. Yes, there will be troubles I'm sure but all of these are merely stepping stones on a path littered with jewels unknown.

Perhaps it would be best if I forewarned you about some of these difficulties which are sure to try to hamper our visit to India, so that when they do prey on you they will not drag you down entirely. To begin with you should come to terms with lizards. Mostly small geckos, though yesterday I saw the tail-end (literally) of a much larger reptile, and today there was a neat-looking chameleon. In addition to lizards, bats are predominantly found in temples, run-down palaces and caves, and I just so happen to be predominantly found in those places as well. In fact, mere hours ago a bat flew out of a cave and directly into my chest - so much for echo-location! Ants - everywhere you sit on the street there's ants (and flies for that matter). Thankfully the hotel rooms are (mostly) bug- and lizard-free. They are definitely free of monkeys, yet most other hillside places (see the list of bat hang-outs) are littered with these clumsy, yet at times annoying primates. (Besides the locals told me about monkey repellent - aka a stick). OH and cows. Cows are everywhere (EVERYWHERE) but they are utterly harmless.

Besides annoyances from the animalia kingdom there are other things that you may need to adjust to. Let's start with the day-to-day and hope that you are ready for the heat. We're only talking 30C+ daily; a fairly dry heat not much worse than a hot Ontario day so upping your water intake, and increasing breaks should be sufficient. Breaks from walking that is, as there are SO many amazing and interesting things to see and unfortunately they are not always located side-by-side. Your brother likes to walk here to there and is bound to drag you alongside. Get your hiking boots worked in!

Haggling is a way of life; a much abhorred but necessary means of agreeing on a fair price for just about anything in this country. The trouble is when you allow a rip-off to lurk, but if you convert to Canadian currency it is easy to move past. Besides working toward a good deal can be satisfying, if somewhat tiresome, in the end. I have weeks of practice so I'll show ya the ropes, kid ;)

Constant, and seemingly unrelenting attention will be reaped upon you whether you desire it or not. The amount of people that have greeted me with a 'Hello' and a 'What country?' nears five digits by now I'm sure. Perspective is the key to this - if you accept it as a friendly gesture it is simple to smile or wave back and carry on, no matter what you're going through.

Finally habits that I've yet to come to terms with are the way in which Indians, primarily men, relieve themselves at will. Whether it be their bladders in rather conspicuous places, their gas while walking up the street directly in front of you or even their phlegm (with a finger to one nostril and a firm blow out the other) it happens far more often than I care to witness. Hopefully these ways don't make you need to relieve your stomach via your throat.

My intention with these warnings were to prepare your delicate senses for things that are sure to offend a lady such as yourself. With these warnings it may occur and you may look the other way without as much of a shock and negative reaction. Despite these minor inconveniences there are multitudes more wonderful experiences to be had. Friendly and inviting locals, sun everyday and gorgeous countryside are just the beginning of it all. Working past things we'll make memories to last many lifetimes. Until I see you in person, take care and safe journey!

Sincerely your brother,
Stefan

Yoga in the Birthplace of Yoga

Having been expressly directed to try yoga (having never tried it before, besides when directed by my mother, hardly a master, years ago) in India - the birthplace of yoga - I could hardly pass up the opportunity to start my day with a free hour on the rooftop of my guest home. Bright and early I clamoured up the steps and drew the first of many deep breaths for the morning due to the great view. The yoga master did not need words and simply began the class for the three of us through example. Things began well enough, as we started stretching but toward the middle I realized that my mighty thighs are not meant for the lotus position (a key position for yoga apparently). I did my best and there were some popping of joints and slight straining of muscles but nothing I couldn't handle.
Toward the end of the lesson the yoga master began a move, and just like before I attempted to replicate it. For a split second I was balanced, before a shift in weight sent me crashing loudly into the pole in the middle of the room. Untangling myself I came up to find the two girls in the class giggling at my fall, while the yoga master continued to stand rigidly in position. Moments later he left the position and came over to assist and I realized that I was supposed to have watched his pose and waited until AFTER to try the headstand, with a spotter. Oops!
The next move was to lie limply on the ground (aka nap) which I was brilliant at, if I do say so myself.

A Family Affair

Arriving in Udaipur I struck out to explore and was directed north to a quaint lake outside the city. As mentioned previously, Udaipur is renowned as the romantic capital of Rajasthan (the state within India) and this lake is apparently a go-to spot. I wandered around it, intrigued by the observatory located in the middle of the lake, and as I rounded the final bend to return to the main road I was passed by two Indian guys about my age on a motorbike, who waved 'hi', offered me a ride which I declined and carried on. Shortly thereafter I came upon them sat roadside sharing a suspicious looking drink from a pop bottle. From there we began a friendship of the gutteral sort, seeing as the only words we had in common were 'beer', 'thali' (Indian meal), and 'hotel'. Regardless we hit it off somehow and before I knew it I was riding middle of a threesome on their bike. Showing off I suppose the driver raised both hands from steering and showed me. I'm quite sure he didn't understand a word that I said but the distress in my voice was clear and he retook the controls while laughing mightily. After sharing some beers and finding out they were 19 and 20 years old respectively we somehow continued the friendship... and whenever communication would break down (ie:charades weren't working) we would say "No English. No Hindi!" and laugh.
After adding a few words to our shared vocabulary, including 'house', 'sister' and 'brother' we were soon whizzing, I don't even know where, and I found myself at one of their homes. Introductions went around in this one-room rooftop basic house (practically a shack) but the smiles of the many sisters, brother and parents were wide and inviting. I sat down and awkwardly was presented with a meal (after vehemently declaring myself as 'veg') and felt pressured to eat it by myself, while nobody else had food, but simply were watching me. Next I was given a glass of water which placed me in a predicament as all guides say NEVER to drink tap water.. but with the encouragement and the fear of offending I drank a small quantity (and sent a quick message to my good bacteria to ready for a fight).
Before leaving I wanted to take advantage of the night-time view over the city from their lookout and took out my camera. This fascinated all and many photos were taken of everyone present. I bowed, thanking the family for their generosity as best as I could with body language and left with the two guys.

Nearing my guest house curfew hour I repeatedly said "hotel" until I was taken towards it. However due to Diwali celebrations that were continuing the streets were closed so I was taken to police saw horse where I hugged my friends goodbye and whipped out my trusty Lonely Planet to find a landmark to guide me safely home.

Bombs Away

Last I left you Diwali was about to begin in full force. My friend, Ranjit, from the internet cafe offered to show me around as night fell and more and more things began to burst around me. Walking down the street families had gathered at their home- or store-fronts to explode crackers into the night. From the way Ranjit was greeted I still cannot decide if he was the friendly-neighbour or the local drunk, but either way, everyone seemed to know him. Each shop we were stopped and I was introduced to the folks all milling about. "Happy Diwali" and "Same to you" was exchanged, as were handshakes and smiles for it was a joyous, festival atmosphere. Fireworks were thrust into my hand, which I was wary of but with the urging of many people around (peer-pressure) I lit one, which sparked not only the shower of fire, but also the pyro in me. Soon I was accepting all sorts of mini-explosives, as well as yummy traditional Indian sweets. That is until I took a bomb that is supposed to spray a meter of sparks into the air for a few seconds and then fizzle out... I lit it from a candle and a split second after I set it on the ground it blew. I was hit by a wave of light and heat, but fortunately no embers landed on me and besides being shaken up wasn't any worse for wear.
Over a Pepsi, Ranjit and I took in the larger fireworks in the distance until parting ways. Heading towards the train station I was sidetracked by a group of curious young Indian boys. It took all my strength to arm wrestle all eight of them... at once... but I proved victorious. Finally in the clear I was twenty steps from entering the train station when my sense of danger kicked in (ordinarily set to low) as a man began lighting an entire line of crackers mere meters away. I hurried on but the very first shot out and struck me directly in the top of the ear. It felt as if it burned but the man responsible rushed up and assured me it was okay. He offered to take care of me for the night but understandably annoyed I brushed him off as my train was leaving momentarily anyway.

Back Photos

I realize I promised this as a photo blog and have barely come through.. well I'll attempt to change that with some pics from over the past couple weeks. Most are nature/caves etc and people-free but I'll spare you too many of those and stick to the other which fall into one of two categories. The super-awkward self-shot or even more awkward delay-run-to-the-spot pic.

Cowering below a shelter to hide from the rain that I saw for 2.5 days when I first got to Goa and haven't seen since (besides a couple drops here and there.)

These trouble-makers followed me around the "mini-Taj" the entire time. That is until the security guard whistled and kicked them out. Not sure what they did wrong due to language barriers - I was enjoying their shadowing actually.

My front porch from my hut in Hampi. It is overlooking a rice field, and a river, with palms growing in it. This is just about sunset - beautiful, quiet and serene. Can't say enough about Hampi.


One of the many, many sculptures in Hampi. I've got other attempts at being God-like (not blasphemous).. traveling alone can make you go a little funny.

The Bombs

I awoke this morning in a war zone. Outside my window were explosions and the sun hadn't even risen. I rose to peek outside and saw sporadic flashes of light. Ignoring these I went back to sleep with the assistance of ear plugs.

After breakfast I headed off on my own mission - to penetrate Dualatabad Fort. Actually, if my commander commanded me to mount a siege on this fort I'd go AWOL. First we'd have to cross four outer walls, with staggered zigzag entranceways and elephant-proof (spiked) doorways. If somehow we made it through these (and past the many cannons and sure-to-be gun-toting army) then we'd hit the moat. The dry moat that is, before the wet moat. If the drawbridge is up then we'll try to cross the V-shaped bridge, but likely they'll have raised the water level so the bottom of the V will be submerged. Granted we swim or float or somehow make it to the other side there's a 50 meter tunnel of pure darkness, misleading you to a trap door that will bring you back to the crocodile-infested moat (forget the swimming thing I said earlier). So we're smarter than trap doors, but can we dodge scalding oil that is being pour on us from above? In the pitch dark? Yes? Yes we can? Well then maybe I should stay with my troops.. except I'd be exhausted as the top is a full 700 steps up and if ANY of those impediments were in place I don't think I'd have made it.

Rewarding myself I scampered towards a nearby waterpark, walking the first 800m and riding third-man on a motorcycle for the final 200. Was it ever worth it! Immediately upon entrance I join the rain dance already in action - and working too. While a DJ spins (seriously.. a DJ.. it was 1pm) children and adults alike let loose under sprinklers (and water cannons). Luckily the pool was a little warmer and with the dozen or so kids under 12 years old I ran around and slid and splashed. That is until a lifeguard called me aside and pointed towards the BIG slides. Naturally I accepted his invitation and for the next hour I was the ONLY kid on the slides. He would suggest one and I'd clamber to the top and slide on back down. Once all options were exhausted he joined me and beat me cleanly in our first race, while doing a barrel roll! Of course by the end of the day I'd learned that technique on the vertical slide too (though I could only complete 3 rotations in one go, whereas he was mastering 5!)

Sunned and splashed out I bid the kids farewell. To return to town I was approached by a "share-jeep" and agreed to take it back for a measly 40 cents (~15km). However at the time that I agreed there were a reasonable 5 people in this Jeep. At the point when it got ridiculous and I resolved that I would have to blog about it there were a whopping 15 people in one Jeep vehicle. Five in the front, four in the next row and the remaining in the back. Before we reached the destination they'd packed two more in somewhere (one hanging out the open back door!) Not only that but the driver, while adhering to the only ONE rule of the road that I've been able to discern (which is "Honk and it's legal") was driving stick! This may not seem like that big a deal until you remember the 5 people in the front bench which meant he was literally shifting across someone's lap and under my knees. Despite all the pollution in this country at least they know how to carpool.

[Of course if you've been keeping up with the blog as you should *wink* then you'll realize that it wasn't a war zone but Diwali - the festival of light that I woke up to. And the "bombs" were in fact firecrackers. Apparently the festivities don't really get under way until 7pm... I'm counting down the next 90minutes]

Ipod: A's

As an experiment I've been listening to my iPod throughout this trip in a sequential order. Figuring it would be too difficult to chose the perfect album to match my mood every time (without new music coming my way) I thought this would give me an opportunity to revisit albums of old, rekindle love for some, and discover some gems in my collection that slipped through the cracks. Therefore my music collection (38+ days worth if played straight) is coming at me one album at a time - alphabetical order, by album title.

Well beginning in Toronto with A-Sides a Soundgarden best-of, I've worked my way past the self-titled Alexisonfire, Radiohead's Amnesiac, Aquemini by Outkast and many more before arriving at the catchy, yet pretty Awoo, by the Hidden Cameras to close out the A's.

Both Wolf Parade albums passed me by and I still love Apologies to the Queen Mary and though not as good At Mount Zoomer is decent too. Speaking of double albums - Rock Plaza Central also made a first album (that I heard anyway) that I love in Are We Not Horses whereas the follow-up ..at the Moment of Our Most needing or if only they could turn around, they would know they weren't alone is decent too. (I think they shortened that title, thank goodness but my ipod still has it as such)

Found a gem in Lily Allen's Alright Still especially the cover of the Kaiser Chief's Oh My God.

Thought I would want to skip through the very first one, Soundgarden, but ended up finding more than a couple tracks that I enjoyed more than i anticipated.

Other greats were Ashtray Rock (Joel Plaskett), the classic August and Everything After (Counting Crows), Arular (MIA), driving into the majestic country of Hampi to ..And the Ever Expanding Universe (Most Serene Republic) was fitting.

A runner for my top 10 2009 has got to be Maybe Smith's - Another Murder in the Morning. Hectic as it is if you can get into it the album pays off.

All in all A's were a big letter - nearly 50 albums listened to in full already! What with the "A somethings.." and the "All the hits" and the "...and the somethings" it was stacked and I expect to move through letters faster now so updates will be more often.

Now onto the B's! Starting with Weezer's B-side collection. See how that goes and I'll let you know in a letter.

Cover the Costs

*All Prices in Canadian Dollars*

• Three hour "luxury" bus ride, 4 hour tour of 2nd Century BC to 6th Century AD Caves, 3 hour return bus ride: $15
  


• Bhelipuri street vendor mini dinner. About a side plate's worth of curry and vegetable and noodles (yum!): A quarter
  


• Bright Green Ice Cream Cone with Bright Red Ice Cream (albeit tiny): 13 cents
  


• Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde Paperback: $3
  


• Apple Milkshake, Chinese Noodle (large) salad, Veggie-ball curry, pakota buttered bread, plain naan bread and Indian Drumstick equivalent ice cream cone - including decent tip <$4
  


• Hotel Room for a night. With 2 single beds, cable TV (BBC and WB plus 100 Indian stations showing cricket), hot water showers, and a balcony! $10 per night.
  

All in all a few rupees tend to go a long way. I think I'm going to save it up and blow it on something big and adrenaline-pumping. I've got a few ideas. Any suggestions?

Interview with an Indian Boy

If you're a jumpy person do NOT go to a country of over a Billion people the week that the celebrate a festival of light (ie:fireworks for sale at every store front) And Diwali doesn't technically start until Saturday (lasting 5 days).

Today's highlights: Viewing 2200 year old paintings (yes, 2nd Century BC) in a cave that were made out of cow dung, among other things. Another highlight - the three hour conversation I had with the 13 year old Indian boy who taught me Hindi on the ride back from the caves.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Cute approximately 4 year old boy: "School Pen?" with outstretched hand.

Me, after approximately three-laak (3,00,000) times being asked that question: "Nope, I don't have any" shaking my head no.

Boy with beseeching eyes: "Two rupees?"

Me: "Two rupees? So you will give up school and become a beggar? I don't think so."

Boy: "Cigarette?" (Obviously just repeating what he's heard other people ask)

Me after a riotous laugh: "Really? A cigarette? You smoke? Cuz I don't. It's very unhealthy"

Boy, after looking pensive for a moment: "School pen?"

Proof!

Here to everyone who wanted to catch a glimpse of India from my perspective (ahem Jon). Enjoy! (More to come.. eventually)

Trains, Planes and Autorickshaws

Forget the crappy stories.. (get it?) I should let you know how I'm doing and where I'm doing it. The past four glorious days have been spent trekking all over the amazing lost empire of Hampi. During that time I walked somewhere around 25km I'm sure, to the top of three massive hills (one unsure, one 500+ steps and the last 590 steps) for absolutely stunning views of the old temples and ruins around - not to mention the hills upon bouldered hills... with 5 sets from me to the horizon looking in just one direction. Stunning!

Due to landslide (end of monsoon season) the tracks were out and I was forced to travel by train both there and back. Ugh - pretty horrible as previously mentioned as every pothole is accentuated by the bus' lack of suspension. And loud!

Back to the train today as I head back up the west coast - passing briefly through Mumbai while I got to check out some ancient caves. Then instead of a day on the train I opted to fly 1 hour north to Udaipur. This is known as India's most romantic city (sadly I'll be there alone) but is probably one of the best spots to celebrate Diwali (the festival of lights) which means Fireworks! Woo. (Can't imagine they'll be as crazy as Czech Republic at New Year's Eve but we shall see)

Udaipur - Jaipur (Pink City, forts and palaces) - Delhi (Larissa) - Agra (Taj!) and more. Gonna be a busy few weeks, which means I'll have plenty more to post.

In closing I'll grade the temple monk's English assignment.

"Fut Wear Leving Hear" read the sign at the top of the Hannuman (Monkey) Temple. I give them 1/4 on spelling and unfortunately cannot give any marks for grammar.

Toilet Troubles

Having a nice stroll on the beach in Goa without anyone around when the few beers from the night before start rolling around in my guts again. Clenching to the nearest resort I'm pointed to a tiny shed around back. Inside is an American-style toilet, but I search frantically for toilet paper (knowing that there's nothing in my pockets to use) and found only a small bucket and a water tap. My first time coming upon this problem and I was in a desperate state. Shooing the lizard from the toilet seat I plugged my nose and shut the door - to realize that the daylight from the door crack had been my only source of light. Perhaps learning how to do it the "Indian way" was better in the dark anyhow.

Carrying on with the trip I began to think that American-style (by that I mean the thrones you sit on) had become the norm, but I was sadly just leading a cushioned lifestyle (hardly!). Shortly before boarding my night bus from Hampi back to Goa... (another story... school kids at the back of the bus would have loved the bumps. However me trying to sleep getting airborne while laying out; I wasn't a fan).. I realized that there was no toilet on the 10 or 12 hour bus ride and I'd better evacuate. Searching frantically as departure time neared I could hardly find a decent restaurant let alone a decent toilet. Running into a diner I'm directed upstairs.. I search to no avail and am pointed out on the ledge. Here I turn the corner and find a closet even smaller than the first, again without a light - and this time without a seat. Yes, the infamous hole-in-the-floor. Checking my watch I contemplate my options and realize that the only feasible one is to squat. That and the squatting is going to be that much more difficult with my 40lb bag on my back..

Indian Things (Joke, Transit, Ads)

Joke: How do you get an elephant in the refrigerator?
Answer: Open the door and put it in.
Me: Totally confused
It is a big fridge!
umm
How do you put a camel in the fridge?
Me: I know - open the door and put it in.
Answer: No, you can't because it's full of an elephant!
*****
My transportation:
Transport:
Plane - 1 day, ugh
Taxi - rip off
Foot - heavy pack
Train - huge delay
3-wheel autorickshaw - loud, wet, bumpy, awesome
Local Bus - decent, cheap
Hyundai - musty
Express Bus - full, slowed due to accident (then we got in an accident but neither driver stopped) but fine
Packed Local Bus - completely different than regular, rather awful and I missed my stop leading to...
Back of a motorcycle - surprisingly good, not too close to death
Back of a scooter - quick way to the beach, and free! Friendly fellow
'Luxury' Bus - anything but... not sure if I slept or just lay down while the upper bunk crumbled on me for 12 hours
Motor Boat - quick jaunt across the river (twice a day, my hotel is removed which makes it amazing.. overlooking the rice fields, rivers and Hampi's hills.. but anyway)
Floating Saucer - surreal at sunset, really cool (handmade by the paddler!) Kinda like the teacups at the fair
Back of a rickety bicycle - Non english speaking old man basically forced me on the back and then peddled up a huge hill (and then down the other side whee!) while my legs cramped trying not to drag my feet
*****

Radio Commercial: Hindi hindi hindi Unwanted 72 hindi hindi hindi no abortion hindi hindi

PS: I know I need pics - I tried tonight but the comp is too old and won't recognize my camera or memory stick. Sheesh!

Rev-Elation (Part 2 of 2)

Part 1 can be found below, entitled Revel

Standing on the rooftop looking down to the rave dance floor it became so clear to me that I was astonished that I hadn't seen it until now. Reviewing the events leading up to this moment it seemed so obvious...

The friendly Indian guy I met in my hotel lobby whistled and up pulled a beat up black Hyundai. He stepped into the back and offered me a ride to town as I'd mentioned I was on my way to dinner. How could I refuse? I slipped into the musty smelling black interior and off we whizzed into the night. First we went for a drive around the area, stopping off at a fancy resort (that was true) where the full appetizer menu was ordered, and two Kingfisher beers came. After dinner we returned to their, ahem, 'hotel' and sat on the balcony becoming fast friends while the dude who owned the place brought us a cup of chai. They offered me use of their wireless internet which was horrible and disconnected - just before the laptop battery died mid-blog, taught me cricket but were more focused on some illegal export scheme they wanted me to run for them (quick trip to Canada and back, 25,000 easy... rupees I think) while we watched the match and hyped the massive parties for the evening. A few hours later we set out to the Hilltop party to start the evening. This was set away from town and the Goan Trance music was thumping before I could even see the place!
They waved me off as I tried to pay my own cover, and again when the vodka-red bulls were broken out, (but allowed me to pick up the full tab for dinner) at this outdoors dance party with lights strung throughout the trees and everyone else strung out on drugs. Uninhibited dancing commenced, however this was only the pre-party so we left, grabbing a snack along the way. Crawling past the strip of clubs in our beater with only the front speakers working - playing Warcraft-sampling techno, we decided to go to the club they said they owned called the West End. Using a police escort After bribing the police to let us through without a license and nearly getting lost we arrived and were given free passes by the guy they knew working the ticket booth, getting there before it even started so there wasn't a line. I found myself on the two-level rooftop of a decrepit old building set amongst the hills in the middle of nowhere (with a pool that was half filled with green rain water). Under the clouded over full moon the terrible music thumped and I watched my two pals (one decked out in white corduroy pants and a white dress shirt, the other in a black and white pinstripe shirt) dance only with each other while everyone else huddled out of the rain.

It was at this point that I realized that I had just lived Bollywood's version of 'A Night at the Roxbury.'

Lost and Ruined

I'm in the most fantastic place I may have ever been in my life. The Lost/Holy City of Hampi was one of the most glorious in its day - dominating south India from the 14th century well into the 16th until it fell in one battle leaving behind some of the most amazing ruins you can imagine. That is, before today I couldn't even imagine. Not only that but the landscape of large boulders swept up into massive piles to form mountains all around and throughout makes the place magical. I clamoured up over 500 steps today to a Hindu Temple at the top overlooking everything. Everything being 2844 temples in this area alone according to the paddler of my saucer boat today - a glorified sledding saucer that floats! Going to be here until Sunday when I begin trekking back to Mumbai. I'm glad to have the time here to explore this incredible place thoroughly.. and dread the bus/train that will take me away from it.

PS: I know I'm slacking on the posts, and pics especially, but if you saw the comp I'm working with you'd understand!

Snapshot

Hi!
This isn't the continuation.. just a 4 minute update (I'm getting kicked off the internet!) I made it to Goa to the beaches and have been having a blast despite the rain. Instead there were parties and exploration. The sun came today and luckily I was at a fairly secluded beach to enjoy it. Food is yummy - and cheap - and the Kingfisher Beer is growing on me.

Heading to (the holy city of) Hampi tomorrow hopefully for a few days. Alcohol is banned so we'll see about the evils of the internet. Then back here for a look around before Mumbai and the Ellora/Ajanta Caves. Then NORTH!

Revel

The friendly Indian guy I met in my hotel lobby whistled and up pulled a sleek black automobile. He stepped into the back and offered me a ride to town as I'd mentioned I was on my way to dinner. How could I refuse? I slipped into the black interior and off we whizzed into the night. First we went for a drive around the area, stopping off at a fancy resort where the full menu was ordered, and the Kingfisher beers kept coming. After dinner we returned to their hotel and sat on the balcony becoming fast friends while room service continued. They offered me use of their wireless internet, taught me cricket while we watched the match and hyped the massive parties for the evening. A few hours later we set out to the Hilltop party to start the evening. This was set away from town and the music was thumping before I could even see the place!
They waved me off as I tried to pay my own cover, and again when the vodka-red bulls were broken out at this outdoors dance party with lights strung throughout the trees. Uninhibited dancing commenced, however this was only the pre-party so we left, grabbing a snack along the way. Cruising past the strip of clubs we decided to go to the club they owned called the West End. Using a police escort we arrived and were ushered inside, by-passing the line. I found myself on the two-level rooftop of a mansion set amongst the hills without any houses in sight. Under the full moon the music thumped and it wasn't until nearly 3am that I had a revelation...

[To Be Continued, the next time I get internet access!]

Interest

Paying my dues now and hoping that the dividends will kick in soon. Actually that's not fair, I'm getting a lot out of the experience though much of it has been difficult. Trying to keep my spirits up about everything though. For example the train that was supposed to get in to Goa (beaches) at 6pm (leaving at 7am), instead was delayed to leave at 11 and didn't get in until 2:30am. Without a hotel room I was forced to figure out the Indian pay phone system, with aid from a rickshaw driver who then took me to the place (with his starting price being 250Rs and after intense negotiation his ending price, still 250Rs. It was the middle of the night so I didn't have much option)

Everyone knows what a lovely day at the beach in the sun is like. Unfortunately I can hardly remember since the monsoons are late this season and it has been raining like mad. Damply I walked about 10 km during a full-out monsoon the entire time, first down the beach, cowering under a leaky shack with some locals, through the fog I saw a crashed tanker 50m from shore, and then climbed around on an old Portuguese fort that apparently offers excellent views. Naturally when I sat down for lunch, the rain stopped. Took a ramshackle old bus back to the hotel for a nap and considered just staying in all night, but my stomach said otherwise so I set off in search of dinner, but wouldn't get far before my journey would take an unexpected twist.